I had been back at home for almost a year, and as you can probably imagine, it’s slim pickings in a small farming town like mine. It was that weird time in between Christmas and New Years, where you don’t really know what day it is, let alone what you are even doing with your life. You pretty much just eat and drink the days away. It was during this limbo of a time where I decided to re-download Bumble. Like most apps, you can swipe through everyone in a 200km radias in about 20 minutes in my area, and most people you have known since childhood, or they’re newer to the valley and they’ve fucked someone you know. So I was surprised when someone I didn’t recognize popped up, and was only 5km away at that!
I immediately matched with the tall, dark curly haired fellow, and we started chatting. I passed his photo around, but no one seemed to recognize him or his two adorable German shepard pups. We chatted all through New Years Eve day. He studied history at university, he is from Vancouver originally, and he moved here so he could have a small hobby farm of his own. Oh and he is a consulant for sustainable weed farming, so you know he has access to the good stuff. As he wasn’t too far from my location, he told me to look out my window and watch the fireworks he was about to set off. We rang in the new year together.
Of course it wasn’t long before he wanted to meet up in person. We decided to take his 6 month old puppies for a walk along the river. We met at the park, and fuck, he was tall. I feel like I say that a lot. So maybe it is just because I’m short. But he was still well over 6 feet. I’m sure I could find his dating profile and check if need be. We talked about everything. I told him all about my work, my family, my hobbies. He told me about his hopes and dreams, and his divorce. Which he told me happened the prior January. We had a wonderful a couple hours walking along the dyke, but when it started to snow we thought we’d call it quits. Dan (yes, another Dan) gave me a big hug, and we made plans to go snowshoeing the following week.
I would also like to note that I’m not totally insane. I did stop by a friend’s house to dish before heading home. I wasn’t about to let some rando from the internet see where I live, as he had already followed me out of the parking lot. This turned out to be the right decision I think. Because not two days later I recieved a text. It went like this; “Hi, this is Dan’s wife. Please stop talking to him. I’ve seen you around in the community and it’s not right what he’s doing. It’s an embarrassment to our farm, family and business. I’m sorry but you have to stop, thanks”. Well then. First off, I am the community, bitch, so don’t go writing texts in such a threatening manner, you don’t know me. Secondly, like shit you have “seen me,” have you stopped by my house lately or what? I think not.
This was quite a shock, but I also could not stop from finding the whole situation rather humourous. As the possibility of rumours of me being a homewrecker was likely to spread like wildfire, I thought it best my parents heard it from me. I swear, they were laughing so hard I don’t know how they were even breathing. Of course, the first time I go on a date in my small town, this is what happens. Should’ve seen that one coming.
Months later, we finally got some more information. The owner of the larger grow-op outside of town came into the restaurant. The couple had worked for her previously. She said that the girl was absolute batshit and that she felt bad for Dan. She also said that they were indeed separated, but that in some ways she still had Dan wrapped around her little finger. Well my funny story turned into a little bit of a depressing one, but at least I’m not a homewrecker. Seems like it was quite wrecked before I came along. Clearly dodged a bullet, maybe literally too, as I’m sure this chick would come at me if given the chance.
Just A Small Town Girl 